Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality Read Online Free

avoiding, judging and hating themselves and others for their sexual desires and behavior.
    As we will see in later chapters, people who are terrorized about sexuality do not make good decisions or lead sexually satisfying lives. They often perpetuate the cycle by terrorizing their children. People who learn sex without guilt make better decisions, talk and negotiate more openly with their partners and respect the sexual preferences and desires of others. They enjoy their own bodies and are less jealous, possessive and judgmental.
    Religion seeks to control the uncontrollable, especially when control is the most difficult – in adolescence. What does religion gain by putting unnatural restrictions and perpetuating myths about sexuality? As I explored in my earlier book,
The God Virus: How Religion Infects Our Lives andCulture
, sex is only one of several channels to religious infection, but it is among the most effective.
Religious Sexual Terrorism: Fear Is the Foreplay
    If you were raised in North or South America, Europe, Australia, or India, China, the Middle East and Indonesia, you were very likely brought up in an environment dominated by one religion. In broad terms that means Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism and Communism (yes, Communism acts like a religion where sex is concerned). These dominant religions tend to control and restrict sexual information, making their version of sex and sexuality the norm.
    Most religions try to isolate people from alternative sexualities, persecute those who do not conform and teach that their behavior is immoral. The ability to control sexual information and induce guilt keeps people tied to the religion. How does a religion keep people coming back for forgiveness or feeling shame without controlling information and using sexual terror?
    The sex drive is so powerful that only the most drastic psychological and physical means can control it. These means can be classified as religious sexual terror. Fear is the foreplay of religion. If done right, it interferes with all aspects of human sexual pleasure.
    Because of religious sexual terror:
An Iranian woman wears a dangerously hot burka in the desert.
A priest prays for hours and hates himself every time he masturbates.
A Christian father explodes on finding out his daughter had sex with her boyfriend.
A minister and his wife can’t enjoy interesting and creative sex.
A woman can’t tell her husband she would like to be spanked occasionally as part of a sexual ritual.
A husband can’t reveal he likes to dress in women’s underwear.
Two Christian teenagers can’t openly negotiate condom use before they have sex.
A Thought Experiment: Unbuttoning Religion
    Imagine being taught from childhood that you and most of the people around you have a dangerous medical problem. But thankfully, it can be controlled, even prevented, with a simple button that lights up when pressed. You are given this button when you are 12 years old and told that it must be compressed frequently. If you ever neglect the button, the light will slowly dim, and at that point the medical condition will progress. If the light gets too dim, you will get a disease or have an accident.
    To illustrate the dangers, you are shown photos and told stories of people who let go of their button and were destroyed. Adults, physicians, religious leaders and your peers all attest to the terrible things that happen when a person neglects his button. “Learn how to live with the button, then tell others how to live with it too,” they admonish you. “Share the knowledge you gain from reading about your button.” You learn that telling others makes the button glow longer, even brighter. You slowly learn to enjoy having a button. You feel proud of it as you tell others the joy of feeling safe and protected by the button.
    This button impacts every aspect of your life. When you talk to someone, you feel compelled to tell them about button power, so you can take your finger off