Simon and the Christmas Spirit Read Online Free

be grand.”
    “ What?”
    “ You can give me a drink,
and I’ll sing to you. I have a passible voice. And I had to be the
master of ceremony back in tedious old Brighton, which means I can
perform patter and also some dancing. See? I do more than act. But
if I do it here, why, I’d draw attention to myself. Can’t have
that.”
    “ What on
earth.”
    Christopher usually only pushed music
hall producers hard, but Harris’s wide eyes made him reckless. “You
need entertainment, Mr. Harris. You need to be taken right out of
whatever thoughts are pulling you down. You’ll go back to them, of
course. But take a holiday. It’s nearly Christmas, after all. And I
owe you for your attempt to save me from the devil over there. I
can’t give you money, I can’t draw pictures, but I can do
handsprings and recite poetry.” It occurred to him that maybe the
unhappy Mr. Harris felt alone because no one listened to him.
Christopher would give over the limelight. “Or perhaps I could
listen as you recite. I know how to be in an audience. Do you do
any sort of acrobatics? It would be most entertaining to see a
dignified gentlemen walk on his hands.”
    He took note of that idea. He’d dress
in formal wear that actually looked elegant, and not just the
clown’s oversized outfits. Perhaps a distinguished man with a
monocle, walking out with his nose in the air and falling over his
own feet to bounce—
    “ I’m sure your offer is
most generous, Mr. Andrews. I, ah, don’t think... That is to say, I
hardly have anything that would be of any interest.”
    Christopher would have backed away if
Harris sounded hostile, he supposed. But the man sounded flustered
and worried.
    “ Oh, I wouldn’t allow a
man I didn’t know into my home either,” Christopher said cheerily.
“We’ll go with the original plan. I’ll be right back.”
    Before Harris could object,
Christopher went in search of Will.
    “ No. I shall not lift a
key to one of our rooms. Do you want me to lose my position? And
how will this make the money we need?”
    “ That’s not what I’m
trying anymore tonight.”
    “ You’re not doing a-an
assignation, are you?”
    The thought had occurred to him. “Of
course not. That is illegal. I wouldn’t make you party to such
depravity.”
    “ Oh, Christopher, don’t be
sillier than you need to be. Why don’t you and Lilah go busk on the
street? It brought some fine income last week.”
    “ It’s too cold. People
hurry past without stopping. And our toes froze.”
    “ Don’t you mooch from any
of the club members.”
    “ Of course not. Especially
not that one. He looks stripped to the bone.”
    “ Curtis says he’s one of
our wealthiest members.”
    “ Oh.” Christopher felt
rather foolish. “He doesn’t dress the part.”
    “ Not everyone dresses to
fill a role.”
    “ Tchah, bite your tongue,
Will. You shame the family trade. Why if Grandfather were still
alive, he’d weep to hear—”
    “ Give over, Christopher.
I’ll get a key, but don’t you make Mr. Harris angry or push him
into any of your harebrained schemes.”
    “ I have none. You’re
mixing me up with Lilah and Billbo.”
    “ They’re worse, I grant
you, but you’re as bad as Mother.”
    Christopher allowed Will to ride his
favorite hobbyhorse, the misfortune to be born into a family
determined to break every rule of sensible, polite behavior. And he
let Will hold forth not only because he wanted the key, but because
the poor boy really did need to explode every now and
again.
    Fortunately, Will had to get back to
waiting on the club members, so after a few more squawks of
indignation about how the Andrewses persisted on wasting time and
money on their dreams, he fetched the key and vanished into the
kitchen. Christopher inched over to a decorative bowl of waxed
fruit and walnuts, grabbed a couple of each, and shoved them into
his jacket pocket.
    “ We keep them open, but
this will lock it.” A disapproving Will handed him the