havenât talked to Abby, or invited Martin along to crap, or locked them into empty classrooms together. I donât even know what he wants, honestly.
Iâm kind of hoping to avoid finding out for as long as humanly possible. I guess Iâve been doing a lot of disappearing. Or glomming onto Nick and Leah, so Martin wonât try to talk to me. I pull into the parking lot on Tuesday, and Nora hops outâbut when I donât follow, she pokes her head back inside.
âUm, are you coming?â
âEventually,â I say.
âAll right.â She pauses. âAre you okay?â
âWhat? Yeah.â
She looks at me.
âNora. Iâm fine.â
âOkay,â she says, stepping back. She shuts the door with a soft click and heads toward the entrance. I donât know. Noraâs weirdly observant sometimes, but talking to her about stuff can be kind of awkward. I never really noticed it until Alice left for school.
I end up playing around on my phone, refreshing my email and watching music videos on YouTube. But thereâs a knock on the passenger side window, and I almost jump. I think Iâve started expecting to see Martin everywhere. Except itâs just Nick. I gesture through the window for him to come in.
He climbs into the seat. âWhat are you doing?â
Avoiding Martin .
âWatching videos,â I say.
âOh man. Perfect. Iâve got this song in my head.â
âIf itâs by the Who,â I inform him, âor Def Skynyrd or anyone like that, then no freaking way.â
âIâm going to pretend you didnât just say âDef Skynyrd.ââ
I love messing with Nick.
We end up watching part of an episode of Adventure Time as a compromise, and itâs the exact perfect distraction. I keep an eye on the clock, because I donât actually want to miss English class. I just want to cut off that margin of time before class begins, where Martin might try to talk to me.
And itâs funny. I know Nick can tell somethingâs up with me, but he doesnât ask questions or try to make me talk. Itâs just one of those things about us. I know his voice and expressionsand his weird little habits. His random existential monologues. The way he taps his fingertips along the pad of his thumb when heâs nervous. And I guess he probably knows the same kinds of things about me. I mean, weâve known each other since we were four. But really, I donât have a clue what goes on inside his head most of the time.
It actually reminds me a lot of the thing Blue posted on the Tumblr.
Nick takes my phone and starts scrolling through the videos. âIf we can find one with Christ imagery, we can totally justify skipping English.â
âUm, if we find Christ imagery, Iâm using Adventure Time for my free-response essay.â
He looks at me and laughs.
The thing is, it isnât lonely with Nick. Itâs just easy. So maybe itâs a good thing.
Iâm a little early for Thursdayâs rehearsal, so I slip out the side door of the auditorium and walk around to the back of the school. Itâs actually pretty chilly for Georgia, and it looks like it rained sometime after lunch. Really, though, there are only two kinds of weather: hoodie weather and weather where you wear a hoodie anyway.
I must have left my earbuds in my backpack in the auditorium. I hate listening to stuff through the speakers of my phone, but music is always better than no music. I lean againstthe brick wall behind the cafeteria, searching my music library for an EP by Leda. I havenât listened to it yet, but the fact that Leah and Anna are obsessed is a promising sign.
Suddenly, Iâm not alone.
âOkay, Spier. Whatâs your deal?â Martin asks, sidling up beside me against the wall.
âMy deal?â
âI think youâre avoiding me.â
Weâre both wearing Chucks, and I canât decide if my