inadvertently turned my face towards my literary café. Its little wooden window, the door in the middle with the bell inside, the name Iâd chosen five years before with the sign, Happy People Read and Drink Coffee, everything took me back to my former life with Colin and Clara.
Once Iâd gotten my degree, my parents were in total despair about my inactivity, so theyâd pulled out their checkbook. I made the mistake of saying that Iâd like to work in a bookstore that was also a café. Colin was already a partner at his law firm and was enthusiastic about the idea. Theyâd agreed on starting the business: my parents had approved and they bought the literary café.Ever since Colin and Clara had died, my parents regularly pumped money into the place. As for me, I lived off of Colinâs life insurance and the compensation Iâd collected. The morning of the opening stuck in my mind as one of general panic. The construction work wasnât finished and we hadnât unpacked all the books. Felix hadnât arrived yet; I had to fight with the workmen alone so theyâd get a move on. Colin called me every fifteen minutes to make sure weâd be ready for the opening that night. Each time, Iâd held back my tears and laughed like an idiot. My very dear partner, looking as smart as anything, deigned to show up in the middle of the afternoon, while I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown because the sign still wasnât hung above the door.
âFelix, where have you been?â I shouted.
âAt the hairdresserâs. And you should have done the same,â he replied, grabbing a lock of my hair with a disdainful look on his face.
âAnd just when was I supposed to do that? Nothing is ready for tonight, Iâve been lying to Colin since this morning. I knew all along this was destined for disaster; this place is more a curse than a blessing. Why did my parents and Colin listen to me when I told them I wanted to open a literary café? I want nothing more to do with it.â
My voice reached screaming pitch and I started rushing around in all directions, trying to do everything. Felix told all the workmen to get out and came over to me. He grabbed me and shook me hard.
âEnough! From now on, Iâm in charge. Go and get ready.â
âThereâs not enough time!â
âIt is out of the question that we open with an owner who looks like a Gorgon.â
He pushed me out of the back door, the one that led to the studio that came with the café. Inside, I found a new dress and everything I needed to look pretty. An enormous bouquet of roses and freesias lay on the floor. I read Colinâs note. He told me again how much he believed in me.
Opening night was a great success in the end, in spite of our accounts that showed virtually no profitâFelix declared himself responsible for the cash register. Colinâs winks and smiles encouraged me. I walked from table to table with Clara in my arms, between family, friends, my husbandâs colleagues, Felixâs dubious acquaintances, and other shopkeepers from the street.
Today, five years later, everything had changed. Colin and Clara were gone. I had no desire whatsoever to go back to work and everything in this place reminded me of my husband and my child. How proud Colin had been when heâd come to celebrate thereâwinning in court, Clara taking her first steps among the clients, the first time she wrote her name while sitting at the counter with a glass of grenadine.
A shadow appeared on the sidewalk beside me. Felix clutched me close to him and rocked me in his arms.
âYou know youâve been standing here for half an hour; come with me.â
I shook my head.
âYou didnât come for no reason; itâs time you came back to Happy People.â
He held my hand and walked me across the street. He squeezed it when he pushed open the door. The little bell rang and I