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expression I can only describe
as contrite, he knows that he is the reason Dad is angry with
me.
    “I’m sorry,” he
says practically whispering. I barely heard him. I decide to
pretend like I didn’t.
    “What about
you, where are you going?” I ask, my voice upbeat.
    It takes a
while before he responds. “I needed to get out too. I’ve just been
riding the train back and forth all day. It’s been hard, you
know.”
    I do know.
    “I have wanted
to see you,” I hear myself saying. Did that just come out of my
mouth? I can’t believe I said something so forward at all. “I
haven’t been able to talk to anyone about the accident and I can’t
get it out of my mind,” I clarify.
    Should I be
talking to him about it?
    “Me neither. My
mother wants me to talk about it with her but I just can’t,” he
shrugs.
    I can see he is
trying to hold back the tears. I reach for his arm and then panic
before it gets there. What am I doing? I go to pull away before I
embarrass myself when he reaches for my hand too.
    “I like sitting
with you,” he says with a half-smile while looking at our hands
that are now intertwined. I’m speechless and bright red, I can feel
it.
    “I bet you
wouldn’t have thought that a few months ago,” I joke. He looks at
me confused. “I wouldn’t exactly say we met under the friendliest
of circumstances.”
    “Why, what
happened?” he asks. Oh great, he doesn’t even remember it. Have I
been avoiding him all this time for nothing? “I believe your exact
words were ‘Your bitch chip obviously hasn’t been affected by your
fall.’” He’s still looking confused. “It was your first day of
school? I fell over and you helped me up, I was so embarrassed and
tried to say something clever but it just came out bitchy and mean,
so you called me on it.”
    “Oh that was
you? I’m sorry for that. I was trying to fit in. It’s hard fitting
in when you have to be the new kid so often,” he says.
    Tell me about
it, I know all about that.
    “My mum has to
travel a lot for work so I’m dragged along with her.”
    I wish that
was why we moved a lot. “I know what you mean, we moved around
a lot when I was younger but we’ve been here for a few years now. I
don’t think we will be moving any time soon,” I say even though
it’s not entirely true. For all I know we could be leaving
tomorrow, but I can’t tell him that.
    “That’s good.”
A smile crosses his lips but I think he’s trying to suppress
it.
    “So are you as
excited as I am to be going back to school next week?” I ask,
trying to keep up the conversation and distract myself from the
fact that he is drawing circles on my hand with his thumb, making
it very hard for me to concentrate on anything.
    “I’m just
terrified about all the questions I’m going to get.”
    I hadn’t even
thought of that, “Does anyone know about it yet?” I ask.
    “Yeah, Jax’s
funeral was yesterday and I know half the class were going but I
couldn’t bring myself to go. People have been trying to call me but
Mum is telling them I’m not home. I don’t think I’m ready to deal
with other people yet.” He hangs his head like he is ashamed of the
way he feels.
    “Hey, that’s
understandable,” I feel like I should console him, like he did for
me that night. “I honestly don’t think people will pry too much,
it’s not very polite.”
    Who am I
kidding, we live in a small town where everybody knows everybody,
of course they will pry but I’m trying to make Drew feel better not
worse.
    “Wow, you have
a lot of faith in the people we go to school with, don’t you?”
    So much for
making him feel better.
    “How about this
then – stick with me and I will fend them all off for you. After
all, I’ve already saved your life once you know,” I say
half-jokingly while nudging him with my elbow to try and put a
smile on his face.
    Instead he
leans in closer, “That sounds really good to me.”
    For a moment I
think he may kiss me. My