noise. Women in general became white noise, unless I had to have a minor and shallow conversation with them in order to get laid. I had no trouble finding hook-ups.
Present time:
Fast forward to today, after watching my brother marry a beautiful girl who was perfect for him I was thinkin’ it might be time to settle down, look for someone compatible.
Revenge didn’t help me get over what Deb did. Splitting with her was the genesis of what my sister Luciana dubbed the “Man Whore Years” for me. I was cold for a long time. The next few years I got my rocks off in nightclub bathrooms and alleys or motel rooms and sometimes my place with nameless, faceless chicks. I was always focused, driven, but during the Man Whore Years I was focused and driven with a big chip on my shoulder and no desire to trust a female that wasn’t a member of my family.
Then one day my Pop says that he’s arranged for my older brother to get hitched. Yeah, it sounds prehistoric but my brother wasn’t gonna do things the traditional way and Tommy getting married was a piece of the puzzle in whatever sinister plot Pop had cookin’ so Pop said he had to get creative because to him he couldn’t hand the business over unless my brother showed he had settled down. A wife and preferably a wife with a bun in the oven said that to my father and his business associates. He wanted Tommy hitched so that he could move on and do other things while Tommy took over as president of the company with me as VP.
Tommy was practically doing all the heavy lifting at that point anyway but Pop dangled the business like a carrot, knowing what buttons to push with my brother. Pop was always makin’ us jump over hurdles, both of us. My brother laid eyes on the girl chosen for him and he was interested. More than interested. It didn’t take long for him to do a one hundred and eighty degree turn. It was astounding to watch.
Up until that point I’d never seen my brother in a relationship. He showed up stag to family events, business occasions, never brought women around. He had a rep for being a womanizer and he and I are tight, I knew he got action, women liked how he looked so he barely had to snap his fingers to get laid, but I knew he wasn’t interested in settling down. After Debbie I probably modeled my approach to women after my older brother. Fuck ‘em then chuck ‘em.
He was all about power and had a single-minded focus to get to the top of his game in our business, to be someone no one questioned deserved to be in Pop’s chair. His love life was something that wasn’t discussed much but he had a rep as a prick who liked it rough. More than a few women who were interested in sinking their claws into him got knocked back or scared off. They didn’t kiss and tell outright because they knew better but there were hushed whispers about Tommy’s tendencies, especially after a neighbor’s cousin who’d moved to town turned tail and left town after one date with my brother, rumor having it that she pursued him relentlessly until he finally gave her a shot. She learned her lesson. She had bruises around her wrists, ankles, and throat and left town the day after their hook-up. There were a few other stories like that about Tommy but not much was said. People knew better than to gossip about him. If it got back to him, there’d be hell to pay.
This flesh payment my father took, Tia…she’s a real looker, a knockout. And sweet. She worships my brother. He’s a lucky fucker. My brother was turned inside out over her. His whole focus, reason for what he did, his motivations … all changed. As I watched their love story play out I frequently thought about the fact that by that point I should’ve been married to Debbie a few years. She and I should’ve been thinkin’ about kids.
Debbie really wasn’t the maternal type and I guess I hadn’t really thought that through when I proposed because I wanted kids. After we split I found out she had an