it.
Maybe if I saw him sitting there with her, I’d feel something. So, I turned. He appeared to be alone. He appeared to be miserable. I didn’t feel anything when I saw that either. Hmm.
Sliding off the high backed stool, I walked over to him at the bar. When I reached his side, he turned to look at me. He didn’t know how to react. I saw it in his eyes. He wasn’t sure whether to be happy or duck and run for cover.
“Alysin, it’s good to see you,” he began tentatively.
I laughed. “I wish I could say the same.” He flinched. “Don’t worry! I’m not happy to see you, but I’m not upset, either. Let’s say I’m pleasantly ambivalent?”
He looked at me in a way that suggested he was marveling over and analyzing my reaction. “You look great. Just getting back from vacation?”
“You could say that.” I shrugged.
He sat up straight in his stool and looked at me. “Listen, I’m sorry. I never meant…”
Without thinking, I had put a finger to his lips to silence him. “I’m ambivalent, remember? I don’t care. You hurt my pride at most. I’m fine.” I smiled. “No, I’m better than fine. Jolie and I are leaving town…for good. Tonight. We’ll never see each other again. I wish you the best.” I took my finger away. “Sorry. You had the best. I wish you happiness. How’s that?”
He smiled at me. It was a sad smile filled with regret. “Okay. I’ll work on that.”
The bartender motioned to me. “Oh, looks like my food is out,” I said. “Goodbye, Kyle.” And without waiting for a response, I all but skipped back to my seat.
“How’d it go?” Jolie asked as the bartender placed our meals on the table.
Shrugging, I replied, “Fine. I felt nothing. It was great. And I know I’m ready to move on.”
Her brow furrowed. “Did you have any doubts?”
My head dropped to the side as I considered her question. “Hmm. No. I didn’t. I guess I thought maybe I should have? I mean, we dated for two years. I should be upset, right? I should have mourned, but I never really needed that. I didn’t even need to say goodbye. Call it…an experiment.” I smiled.
Then I turned my attention to my meal. It tasted amazing…all of it. Once we were finished, we even ordered dessert. I had sweet cream and berries. By the time we left, Kyle had already disappeared. His absence didn’t faze me in the least, just as his presence had never pleased me. I was ready for bigger and better things. I was ready for BE.
By the time we reached the hotel Thursday afternoon, it was time for check in. Somehow we had managed to time our stops perfectly. We paused around 1am to change into more comfortable clothing. For me, it was a tank top, jersey knit shorts, and flip-flops. We even brushed our teeth in the gas station. It was funny in that I can’t believe I’m getting ready for bed when I’m really only riding in a car all night kind of way. Then, after we switched off and Jolie woke me up at 7am, we stopped at an IHOP. I love the stuffed French toast. It’s nothing like French toast. It’s like dessert for breakfast. Life should involve much more decadence than it does. I take mine where I can get it. Food. Luckily, I don’t look like it. As long as I stick to my no baby policy, I should have no trouble staying that way.
Then we drove a while longer, stopping once to pee and stretch, then again for lunch. Lunch was far less decadent, but that’s good, too. Having a nice Caesar Salad and sour cream baked potato at Wendy’s was nice. Having that Chocolate Frosty in a waffle cone…even nicer!
Finally, at 3pm, we arrived at the Best Western Premier in Little Rock. We had looked at pictures online and it appealed to us. It wasn’t just the free buffet breakfast. Did I mention I love free buffets? It was the rooms and the pool area. They had pictures of comfy seating around an outdoor fire pit. I love that. Strike that. I love the idea of that. I haven’t really done that. We weren’t big