Wonder When You’ll Miss Me Read Online Free
Author: Amanda Davis
whoâs spent time in a loony bin? I couldnât even imagine the look on her soft squishy face.
Mr. Feldman, my English teacher, was a mousy man, oddly formal, with small rounded shoulders and a terrible balding pattern. Books got him so excited that his high forehead turned red and beady and he took his round wire glasses off and used them to poke the air. Shakespeare practically made him froth at the mouth.
He asked me to stay after the bell rang and I knew what was coming next.
âIâll be late to history,â Iâd said.
âIâll write you a pass, Miss Duckle, itâs okay.â Mr. Feldman gestured to a desk near him and came around and sat on the edge of his. He cleared his throat. âFaith,â he said. âI know where youâve been. I know it must be rough being back here andââ
Then he paused for a long time and I had to concentrate to keep my mind from drifting away.
ââwell, I know what itâs like to return to school after aâ¦â He cleared his throat. ââ¦long absence,â he said finally.
He looked at the ceiling and then clasped his hands in front of him and shook them at me like a small round tambourine. âAll Iâm saying is, I donât want you to feel pressured. I want you to feel like you have whatever space you need toâ¦adjust.â
I blinked and then realized he wanted something from me.
âThanks, Mr. Feldman,â I said. âThanks a lot.â
âYour work isâ¦â he trailed off again. I wondered what place heâd been to and where heâd returned but I didnât ask. âIf youâre having problemsâ¦â he said. âIf you need anything, you can come to me, Faith.â
I wanted to leave the room so badly I could taste it. He looked like there was something else he wanted to say. I waited. Then the bell rang again and I stood. He lunged at me and gave me an awkward, stiff hug. âThere, there,â he said.
Â
After my last class, I went to use the bathroom. The hallways were deserted, the day was over. The fat girl was nowhere to be found. I wandered through the school looking but didnât see her anywhere. I went outside, to the low wall, but she wasnât there, either.
Then I saw her at the bottom of the hill. She was spinning in loops andarcs in the center of the football field. Her skirt swung over the grass, her body was a giant blue swirl. I got halfway down the hill, then stopped.
Homecoming had been almost a year ago, when I was still huge and lumbering. The bleachers, that night, the whole of it swept up on me then, sudden and hazy.
We stood with our red plastic cups, breath fogging the air. The guys were so friendly and I felt charming. They laughed at everything I said and punched each otherâs arms, clustering around. We talked about something, our voices colliding, our steamy breath forming tiny clouds that spiraled up and drifted off into the night. A boy with blue eyes whispered, Where have you been all my life? I hiccuped, giggled. I couldnât stop grinning. I tossed my hair. They buzzed around me, all smiles.
Sheâs nice, one boy said to another. Everything was rubbery and unreal. The blue-eyed boy put his arm around me and leaned in close. Youâre so pretty, Faith, do you have a boyfriend? he whispered. I flushed, unsteady. Does someone love you like you deserve to be loved? No, I thought. More punch, someone offered, and I took a long drink. The guys nodded their heads, closing in around me. A tall boyâs voice cut the air, loud and clear, John, you know what they say about fat girls, right? My head was thick and cloudy, I couldnât really breathe. What do they say? answered a boy in a red parka. I didnât know what to do. Fat girls are hungry, said another boy with a ratty mustache. Fat girls are hungry, an echo. I turned to leave but they had my arms. Câmon, Faith, Blue Eyes said, I thought
Mr. Feldman, my English teacher, was a mousy man, oddly formal, with small rounded shoulders and a terrible balding pattern. Books got him so excited that his high forehead turned red and beady and he took his round wire glasses off and used them to poke the air. Shakespeare practically made him froth at the mouth.
He asked me to stay after the bell rang and I knew what was coming next.
âIâll be late to history,â Iâd said.
âIâll write you a pass, Miss Duckle, itâs okay.â Mr. Feldman gestured to a desk near him and came around and sat on the edge of his. He cleared his throat. âFaith,â he said. âI know where youâve been. I know it must be rough being back here andââ
Then he paused for a long time and I had to concentrate to keep my mind from drifting away.
ââwell, I know what itâs like to return to school after aâ¦â He cleared his throat. ââ¦long absence,â he said finally.
He looked at the ceiling and then clasped his hands in front of him and shook them at me like a small round tambourine. âAll Iâm saying is, I donât want you to feel pressured. I want you to feel like you have whatever space you need toâ¦adjust.â
I blinked and then realized he wanted something from me.
âThanks, Mr. Feldman,â I said. âThanks a lot.â
âYour work isâ¦â he trailed off again. I wondered what place heâd been to and where heâd returned but I didnât ask. âIf youâre having problemsâ¦â he said. âIf you need anything, you can come to me, Faith.â
I wanted to leave the room so badly I could taste it. He looked like there was something else he wanted to say. I waited. Then the bell rang again and I stood. He lunged at me and gave me an awkward, stiff hug. âThere, there,â he said.
Â
After my last class, I went to use the bathroom. The hallways were deserted, the day was over. The fat girl was nowhere to be found. I wandered through the school looking but didnât see her anywhere. I went outside, to the low wall, but she wasnât there, either.
Then I saw her at the bottom of the hill. She was spinning in loops andarcs in the center of the football field. Her skirt swung over the grass, her body was a giant blue swirl. I got halfway down the hill, then stopped.
Homecoming had been almost a year ago, when I was still huge and lumbering. The bleachers, that night, the whole of it swept up on me then, sudden and hazy.
We stood with our red plastic cups, breath fogging the air. The guys were so friendly and I felt charming. They laughed at everything I said and punched each otherâs arms, clustering around. We talked about something, our voices colliding, our steamy breath forming tiny clouds that spiraled up and drifted off into the night. A boy with blue eyes whispered, Where have you been all my life? I hiccuped, giggled. I couldnât stop grinning. I tossed my hair. They buzzed around me, all smiles.
Sheâs nice, one boy said to another. Everything was rubbery and unreal. The blue-eyed boy put his arm around me and leaned in close. Youâre so pretty, Faith, do you have a boyfriend? he whispered. I flushed, unsteady. Does someone love you like you deserve to be loved? No, I thought. More punch, someone offered, and I took a long drink. The guys nodded their heads, closing in around me. A tall boyâs voice cut the air, loud and clear, John, you know what they say about fat girls, right? My head was thick and cloudy, I couldnât really breathe. What do they say? answered a boy in a red parka. I didnât know what to do. Fat girls are hungry, said another boy with a ratty mustache. Fat girls are hungry, an echo. I turned to leave but they had my arms. Câmon, Faith, Blue Eyes said, I thought
Readers choose
Erin Hunter
Sela Ward
Robert J. Randisi
Kate Forsyth
Keris Stainton
Janet Dailey
Michael Dibdin
Lindsay McKenna