known as ‘Pea the crazy cat lady, who stores her cats in her kitchen freezer when they die.’”
I can’t help it, I actually burst out laughing. Like a full on belly laugh. I can’t remember the last time that happened. I’m trying to breathe while clutching at my ribs doubled over. As I compose myself, I realise that even in this packed, noisy club, people are staring at me.
I scan the crowd and spot Con, just looking at me. Trying to read me. My eyes snap back into focus as Stacey sidles up to him, hanging off him, just like she used to do with Saul.
Saul.
The four of us as we were.
I feel like I’ve been winded. It’s like stepping back in time. I close my eyes and concentrate on my heartbeat as my mind drifts. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Five days, just five short days until my twentieth birthday. Another milestone. It would also be four years since Con and I had gotten together. Four years! It felt like we’d been together forever. It made me question my life choices that was for sure. I’d been planning on travelling the world for six months on my twentieth birthday, which I had been talking about doing it since I was a kid. I’d rambled so often about it that for my nineteenth birthday my grandma handed me a wallet with tickets, an itinerary, money and travel vouchers. She’d booked places and flights for six-months-worth of travel from the day following my twentieth birthday. Then to top that off she also gave me spending money. I was ecstatic, overwhelmed and convinced I couldn’t possibly go. Why would I want to leave Con for six months? I was in love. Still am. I’m still undecided.
I looked around the club at people grinding and sucking face. I closed my eyes and listened to the music. I had five days to decide for certain. Five days to choose the adventure of a lifetime or the love of my life. I’d felt so much pressure. More than a nearly twenty-year-old in a club on a Saturday night with her best friends, one of whom was her boyfriend, should feel.
I looked down at my red dress and wondered why I let Soph dress me. It felt like a second skin it was that tight, and I felt naked. I wandered back to our little booth. Soph and Saul were laughing and Con was smiling at something they’d been talking about.
“Ugh! Why is there always such a huge queue in the ladies? And why did you leave me in there, Soph?!” I frowned at her.
“Sorry Chicka. I couldn’t see you in there and I was in the way so I came outside to wait for you, but then a hot guy was giving me the come hither look, so I went hither.” She winks, but the guys both burst out laughing.
“Yeah, the only problem was he wasn’t giving you the come hither look, he was trying to hold his puke in and when Soph wandered over to him, well, he let it go,” Saul says barely containing his previous laughter. “I’m surprised she came out unscathed,” added Con.
“Yeah, it was like something out of ‘The Exorcist,’” Saul replies. “I expected his head to spin round,” he spluttered, “or Soph’s! You looked like you wanted to rip his head off.” Both Saul and Con laughed looking at Soph again.
“You two are such children sometimes, and just because he puked doesn’t mean he wasn’t giving me a come hither look!” she snapped.
“Con, am I giving a come hither look now?” Saul asks and looked at Con while pretending he was trying not to puke. Con laughed.
“No, seriously, I need to know. I don’t want the ladies trying to jump me when I’m puking my Jack back up!” The guys were crying with laughter and Soph was standing there with her hand on her hip and her lips pursed. It was that moment, that seemingly very ordinary moment, to anyone watching from the outside that had made my mind up. How could I possibly leave these people, they were my family. My life. My peace.
Four days later my peaceful world shattered for the first time.
It was the day before my birthday. Everything seemed normal in my world, not