Mr. Hynde Is Out of His Mind! Read Online Free

and Ryan sang the dumb kissing song again, so I left. I was really mad.
    I didn’t exactly know where to run to. I figured I’d go to the boys’ room and hang out in there for a while.
    But on the way to the boys’ room, I passed the music room. The door was closed, but there’s a little window in the door. I stood on my tiptoes and looked inside. Mr. Hynde was in there.
    I put my ear against the door. I could hear a drum machine, and Mr. Hyndewas rapping, too. I couldn’t make out the words. I opened the door.
    â€œYo, Beast!” Mr. Hynde said. “You the man! How’s it hangin’, brother?”
    â€œOkay, I guess,” I said. “What are you doing?”
    â€œLayin’ down some beats,” Mr. Hynde said. “I’m workin’ on my own CD.”
    â€œCool!” I said. “Are you gonna be a famous rapper?”
    â€œWord up, cuz,” Mr. Hynde said. “Maybe someday I’ll be a star and you can say I used to be your music teacher. Hey, you want my autograph? Once I get famous, I might not sign ’em anymore.”
    â€œNo thanks,” I said.
    â€œWhat’s the matter, Beast?” said Mr. Hynde. “You bummed out ’cause you can’t watch TV?”
    â€œNo, I’ve got a problem, Mr. Hynde.”
    â€œBe straight,” he said. “You can tell me.”
    â€œI don’t want to be the beast.”
    â€œWhy not, dude?” Mr. Hynde asked. “The beast is the man! The beast rules!”
    â€œI don’t want to kiss Andrea Young,” I admitted.
    â€œOhhhh,” Mr. Hynde said. “Kissin’ is gross, eh? ’Fraid you’ll get cooties?”
    â€œWell, yeah.”

    â€œLet me clue you, brother,” said Mr. Hynde. “Kissin’ girls is fly. Someday all you’re gonna wanna do is kiss girls.Someday, when you wanna kiss a girl, that girl might not wanna kiss you. It’s kinda like gettin’ my autograph. Youshould do it now, ’cause you might not have the chance later. Besides, it’s just a play. It doesn’t mean you like her.”
    â€œBut Andrea is horrible and disgusting!”
    Mr. Hynde sat down at his desk.
    â€œA.J., when I was a little shortie like you, I thought green beans were horrible and disgusting,” he said. “But my mama said I had to eat ’em. She told me to pretend the green beans were somethin’ I really liked. So I pretended they were oatmeal cookies. Then they didn’t taste so bad. See what I mean?”
    â€œI don’t like oatmeal cookies,” I said.
    â€œWell, what do you like?” Mr. Hynde asked.
    I thought about it for a minute.
    â€œI like dirt bikes,” I said. “When I grow up, I’m gonna be a dirt bike racer.”
    â€œSo pretend Andrea is a dirt bike,” he suggested.
    â€œHuh?”
    â€œGo ahead, give it a shot,” Mr. Hynde said. “We need you in there. You’re my beast, dude. Nobody else can be the beast. You’re the beast from the east.”
    â€œWell, okay,” I said.
    I still didn’t know if I’d be able to kiss Andrea without throwing up.

8
The Play
    For the next week, the second grade rehearsed and rehearsed and rehearsed the play. After school I went home and rehearsed my lines some more. I couldn’t turn on the TV anyway, so it was good to have something to do.
    In school we rehearsed the whole playfrom start to finish. It was fun torturing Andrea. The only part we didn’t rehearse was the kissing part. Mr. Hynde said we would save that for the real show on Friday night.
    Ryan and Michael couldn’t believe that I was really going to kiss Andrea. I told them that Mr. Hynde said it wouldn’t be so horrible if I pretended she was a dirt bike.
    â€œI wouldn’t kiss a dirt bike,” Ryan said.
    â€œWell, what would you kiss?” I asked.
    â€œI really like football,” Ryan said. “I’d kiss a