Secrets of a D-List Supervillain Read Online Free

ago.”
    “My memories are kind of fuzzy, but I think we were fighting each other.”
    “You were the Triceratops?”
    “Maybe. I think so. It’s slowly coming back to me. I... I sensed some kind of disturbance in the bayou. Hillbilly Bobby and I went to check it out and we found some kind of monster. It attacked us and things got hazy after that.”
    Part of me was stunned that Rex had taken out Swamp Lord in his element. In his prime, Swamp Lord had fought two teams of Guardians to a standstill when they’d tried to arrest him. A smidge of panic crept into the back of my throat over how fortunate I’d been.
    Then again, the Dinowizard had magic on his side. Swamp Lord’s gaseous form and elemental powers might have no defense for that.
    “Sorry, I never made it to your hideout when that bug shit happened. I got attacked by the Olympians in New Orleans.”
    “T’ain’t nothing,” he answered. “The kid I had working the shortwave rolled over on you as soon as he had a bug on him, so, if anything, it’s me who outta be apologizing.”
    “So, the Olympians didn’t get you?”
    “They tried, but I was too slick for ‘em. I saw the Biloxi Bugler and Chain Charmer over yonder. Don’t tell me you done up and went all hero on us?”
    “Just a job, Hooch. Nothing to it, but to do it. Used to come with better perks. Besides, you’ve worked with the heroes before.”
    “Yeah, I reckon you’re right, but I don’t trust ‘em one bit. Most of them are slipperier than a greased pig, and hide behind the power of the man when it suits ‘em. If’n you ask me, crooks at least don’t try and fool people into thinking how good they are.”
    I managed a smile at the older man, who didn’t seem bothered by his nudity. Then again, he can’t carry anything, including clothes when he turns into vapor, so this was familiar territory for him. Hooch had a folksy kind of common sense that can’t be denied. Considering all the dirty deals I’d seen in my limited stint on this side of the law, I wasn’t in any position to refute his claims, even if I wanted to.
    “Yeah, I’m keeping my eyes open. The grass is greener over here, but that’s just because they use a different brand of fertilizer. Any idea who the Stegosaurus really is?”
    “Unless I miss my guess, that’s Susan Voss, the captain of the fire department in this parish.”
    “She a super, too?”
    “Yup,” he responds. “Can lift about a ton and can’t be burnt. People call her Fireproof, but she always jokes that if she had an official hero name it’d be something like Asbestos.”
    “Oh, I think the Guardians tried to get her as a reserve member, but she turned it down.”
    Hooch shrugged. “Smart lady.”
    “Stringel,” a far off voice bellowed. It belongs to She-Dozer. “Get your ass over here and help!”
    “Mind pitching in?” I ask.
    Hooch begins to turn into mist. “These folks are my people too. I know where they keep the keys to the emergency vehicles at the firehouse. I’ll grab an ambulance or something and bring it back.”
    “Thanks, Swamp Lord. I owe you one.”
    “Don’t mention it, Cal. Come to think of it, I’ll probably want some new weapons from you sometime.”
    “I think that can be arranged, provided you don’t go telling anyone who your supplier is.”
    In the old days, I’d have wanted him to shout it from the rooftops, but these days, his status as an unsanctioned vigilante required discretion on both our parts.
    As he began drifting away, I turned and headed to where Sheila was tending to a man with a head wound. At some point Dozer grabbed a spare costume from her hoversled. Hooch and the rest of these chumps being naked was one thing. Sheila was at least nice to look at, even if she is a world class, anal retentive, bitch.
    “I know you’re pretty useless without your armor, but I’m guessing you know some first aid. Grab the other kit off my sled and get to it.”
    The curvy amazon annoyed me more than