Shatnerquake Read Online Free Page B

Bruce in unison.
               
    The three conspirators waited for Shatner to finish.
               
    “I can’t believe they got Bruce,” said Bruce.  
               
    “I don’t even want to think about what they’re doing to him,” said Bruce.   Bruce nodded grimily in agreement.
               
    They sat silent while Shatner sang/spoke the last verse.   As he began the chorus for the final time the three Bruces got to their feet.   They raised their right, handless arm and bowed their heads in silent prayer to the Almighty Bruce.
               
    As they walked out from behind the intergalactic crime lord cut-out, Shatner finished his song and the gathered crowd applauded.  
               
    Bruce slipped his hand into his pants pocket and slid on the set of brass knuckles.   He walked briskly up to Shatner, who was too busy taking bows to notice the oncoming threat.   Bruce and Bruce moved to his side to provide back-up and, if necessary, crowd control.  
               
    Bruce did one last glance around to make sure there were none of those freaky convention guards and then he moved in for the attack.
               
    One quick blow with the brass knuckles knocked Shatner out cold before he had any chance to react.   The people in the crowd cried out as they saw their hero crumble to the ground.   A brave fan made a move to help but the one-two attack of Bruce and Bruce, each of whom had their own set of brass knuckles, quickly reduced him to a bleeding quivering heap.
               
    “Anyone else feeling like a hero?” yelled Bruce as she fiercely eyed the crowd.   No one was.
     
    Bruce smiled at Bruce.   She looked so hot when her blood-lust got pumping.
     
    He rushed over to help Bruce with Shatner’s unconscious body.   The two began to drag the TV star down the hall while Bruce made sure no one followed them.   While she may have been under half the size of most of the convention attendees, she was crazier and fiercer than any of them.  
               
    The Bruces rounded a corner to a hallway and dragged the body through a maintenance door that led to the boiler room.   Bruce shortly followed them through the door.
               
    “Did anyone follow?”
               
    “Nah,” she said, “they were all too scared.”
               
    She walked over to Shatner.   “Wow, we actually got him.”
               
    The three Bruces stood around the unconscious entertainment icon.   They looked down in amazement.   They actually managed to get the Great Satan himself.
               
    “OK,” said Bruce, “start unpacking the boxes.   Let’s not waste our opportunity here.
               
    “I admire your determination but I do believe that you’ve made a mistake.”
               
    The Campbellians jumped and spun around.   Standing in the doorway was another William Shatner.
               
    “Who the hell are you?” said Bruce.
               
    “I’m Denny Crane,” said the Shatner, “the greatest lawyer in the world.”

 
     
     
    CHAPTER FIVE
     
     
    Shatner made it through two more rooms of the museum and then paused to catch his breath by a scale replica of his office from “Boston Legal.”   People stood in a half-circle around him yelling and clapping.
     
    “What…is wrong…with…you people,” Shatner screamed at them.
               
    “ aaaaaarrrrgggGGGGHHHHHH !!!!”   The crowd parted aside and Hooker came charging.   Shatner grabbed an umbrella from the set and stepped aside, swinging it at Hooker’s legs.   He went face-first into the ground.   The crowd was joyous.  
                
    Hooker stood up and faced Shatner.   His forehead was cut wide open and thick-black ooze leaked from the wound.
               
    “We can be at this all day,” said