Shatnerquake Read Online Free Page A

following him.
     
    * * *
     
    “Mother-fuck, shit shit shit ,” said Natalie as she stomped her feet.   She breathed in deeply and exhaled, attempting to calm herself down.
               
    She raised the walkie-talkie, “So you lost William Shatner.”
               
    There was a pause and a static filtered voice said, “Yes, ma’am.”
               
    “Well fucking find him,” Natalie yelled and then hung the walkie-talkie on its belt-holster.
               
    She took out her cell phone and dialed Shatner’s number.   The screen read: CALL FAILED.   She tried two more times with the same result.  
               
    “Son-of-a-bitch!”   She put the phone back in her pocket.   Just one more problem she did not need.
               
    She began to walk in the direction of the main entrance.   If Shatner was wandering around, there was a good chance he would head there hoping to find convention staff.   This was the abso -fucking- lutely worst time for him to go missing.   The guards had gathered from the prisoner that there were three other Campbellians loose in the convention.   Unfortunately, the prisoner did not give up where they were or what their plans were before he finally died from massive blood loss.    
               
    The halls were fairly empty as most of the convention goers were attending events.   But there were still people milling about talking and trading trivia.   There was a slight tension in the air from the blast but the convention staff was telling everyone that it was just a generator blowing out.   The story seemed to sit well with the attendees.   No one wanted to believe that anything actually was wrong.   That would mean an end to the whole fun filled weekend that everyone had paid good money to attend.
               
    Someone grabbed Natalie’s shoulder.   She spun around and looked into the face of William Shatner.
               
    “Oh, thank G- ”   The words stalled in her throat when she got a good look at him.   His clothes were faded gray and his skin was a sickly chalk color.  
               
    “Vi… aspekti simlia … iu …en pargi ,” he said in poorly spoken Esperanto.   Translation:   You…look like…someone…in charge.
               
    “What the hell?” said Natalie.   This was not Shatner.   He looked way too young and thin.   But he was the spitting image of an early Shatner.
               
    “Kio… estas loko … kie mi?”   Translation:   What…is this place…where am I?
               
    Natalie backed away, turned and hurried down the hall.
               
    She looked over her shoulder and saw the Shatner look-alike babbling to some other attendee.
               
    Goddamn, things are getting weird.
     
    * * *
     
    Bruce, Bruce, and Bruce peered out from behind the massive cardboard cut-out of Jaba the Hutt.
               
    “What the hell is he doing?” asked Bruce.
               
    The three Campbellians were watching what appeared to be William Shatner doing an impromptu concert for a small crowd of fans.   Right now, he was in the middle of his immortal rendition of “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.”  
               
    “I think he’s singing,” said Bruce.
               
    “You’d think he’d want everyone to forget about that aspect of his career,” said Bruce as she sat down.   The large cardboard Hutt blocked any chance of Shatner seeing her.  
               
    “He’s just looking for attention,” said Bruce as he sat down next to her.
               
    “OK, remember what we’re here for,” said Bruce bringing the team back to their mission.   “We wait until he finishes this number and then when the crowd is clapping and he’s taking his bows, we make our move.”
               
    “Right,” said Bruce and