The Teacher from Heck Read Online Free Page B

the laptop—and it squirted April-May again.
    She let out another scream.
    Billy settled onto his stomach and tried to do a push-up. I knew he could do maybe one or two in an hour. The dude is a brain, remember—not a jock.
    Mr. Skruloose returned to his desk. “I heard about your Water War,” he snarled, “and it’s all over. Let me repeat that. OVER!”
    He picked up the broken yardstick and cracked it into tiny pieces.
    That sent a shiver down my back. He really liked breaking things.
    This isn’t fair, I thought. How can Skruloose end the Water War? It’s our turn to attack. We haven’t had a chance to get back at Sherman for flooding out our lunch. He can’t let Sherman and Nyce House win!
    â€œYou soldiers will survive my class—if you follow my simple rules,” Mr. Skruloose boomed.
    From his front-row seat, Sherman Oaks waved another hundred-dollar bill in Skruloose’s face. “Maybe this little gift will convince you to skip me,” Sherman said. “I’m way too rich to follow any rules.”
    Skruloose totally ignored Sherman. Once again he began listing his classroom rules:
    â€œBoth feet on the floor at all times, shoes at a forty-five-degree angle. Posture counts for twenty-five percent of your grade. No unnecessary smiling. No licking your lips.”
    Nice.
    â€œI will be giving you four hours of homework every night, seven nights a week,” Mr. Skruloose announced. “You students are lucky. I used to be strict !”

Chapter 11
G ASSY H AS TO G O
    After dinner Feenman and Crench slumped into my room. They dropped onto my bed, sighing and shaking their heads.
    â€œSherman is bragging to everyone that he won the Water War,” Feenman said. “He’s telling everyone you surrendered.”
    I groaned. “What can I do? Mr. Skruloose said the Water War was over. Do you want me to go argue with him? You saw what he did to that yardstick.”
    â€œWe don’t have time for a Water War, anyway,”Crench said. “We have so much homework.”
    â€œFour hours of homework every night?” Feenman moaned. “I can’t do it, Bernie. All that reading hurts my eyes.”
    â€œI can’t think that long,” Crench said. “If I try to think for more than a few minutes, I get a headache.” He pounded his forehead.
    A shadow fell over the room. Mr. Skruloose burst in, breathing hard, pointing at my two buddies. “No slouching on the beds!” he barked. “Sit up. Posture! Posture!”
    Feenman and Crench pulled themselves up straight.
    Skruloose lowered his eyes to their bare feet. “Where are your shoes?” he boomed. “I don’t like to see feet in my dorm.”
    â€œMrs. Heinie always let us go b-barefoot,” Crench stammered.
    Mr. Skruloose made a disgusted face. “Mrs. Heinie? Who is Mrs. Heinie? I’m in charge now. And I’ll kick your heinie if I see any bare feet in here again.”
    â€œY-yes, sir,” Crench muttered.
    I tried to change the subject. “Sir, we’re just so totally pumped to have you here,” I said. “We know you’re going to do great things here at Rotten House.”
    He frowned at me. “Great things? With a bunch of losers like you?” He shook a big, meaty fist in the air. “But don’t worry,” he said. “I’ll shape you soldiers up. When I’m finished, you won’t recognize yourselves.”
    All three of us made gulping sounds.
    â€œStand at attention!” he boomed. “I’m going to do the inspection now!”
    He brushed the three of us out of his way. “I heard about your Water War,” he said. “I’m searching your rooms every night. If I find any squirt guns or water blasters, you will report to Headmaster Upchuck to be sent home.”
    All three of us made gulping sounds again.
    Skruloose pulled out a flashlight, dropped to the