Falling Hard Read Online Free Page B

her.
     
    * * *
     
    She and I were just getting back to being able to hold a civil conversation when she woke one night with premature labor pains. I rushed her to the hospital. Listening to her soft sobs, I prayed that she and the baby would be all right. As I paced in the waiting room, I was afraid I was about to lose the only woman I'd ever really loved. I wanted the baby to survive too, but if only one of them made it, it had to be her. There could be other babies but never another Tanya.
     
    I can't begin to describe the relief I felt when Jim Jr. (J.J. for short) was born eight hours later, four weeks ahead of schedule.
     
    “Oh, Tom, isn’t he beautiful?”
     
    As I stood by her bed, watching her cradle my small nephew, I knew I was looking at the two most important people in my life. “How could he be anything but beautiful with you for a mother?”
     
    She looked up at me with her warm, beautiful eyes filled with love and wonder. Then she clutched my hand in hers and pressed it against her lips. “Thank you, Tom.”
     
    I glanced at the bouquet of flowers I’d ordered that sat on her bedside table. “Oh, you mean for the flowers?”
     
    “Yes. For all of them.” She smiled.
     
    “All of them? It’s only a small bouquet.”
     
    She squeezed my hand. “I mean for all the roses you’ve sent me over the past weeks.” She smiled at my surprise. “You didn’t really think I thought they were from Jim, did you?”
     
    “Well, I—yes. I did.”
     
    “Okay, maybe I still had enough stars in my eyes to think the first bouquet was from him. But when the second one arrived and I still hadn't heard from him...” She sighed. “I knew they were from you.”
     
    “I just wanted to lift your spirits.”
     
    “And you did.” She squeezed my hand. “You have done so much for me.”
     
    “It was my pleasure,” I admitted.
     
    “I don't see how it could be—given the situation.”
     
    I decided it was probably best not to ask what situation she meant.
     
    She sighed. “But enough is enough.”
     
    “What?”
     
    “You've done far more for me than you needed to and I'm so grateful.”
     
    “And?”
     
    “And as soon as I’m released, I’ll be out of your hair.”
     
    “What?” I stared at her. “You're not planning to leave.”
     
    She nodded. “Yes.”
     
    “No. I'm not going to have you and the baby homeless.”
     
    “We're not going to be homeless. I talked to Mrs. Ashton last week. My old room is free again. So the baby and I will go there when—”
     
    “No!” I snatched my hand away from her. “No! There’s no need for you to go back there.” I turned away from her and shoved my hands into my pants pocket. I didn’t want her to see them shaking.
     
    “Tom? Tom, please. Look at me.”
     
    I shook my head and walked over to the windows. I struggled to control the feeling of panic radiating through me. “Just tell me you’ll stay with me, Tanya. Please.”
     
    “I can’t. I have—”
     
    “Why?” I swung around to face her. I no longer cared that I was exposing my feelings. I couldn't bear the thought of her leaving a moment before she had to. “Why can’t you stay?”
     
    “Because it’s not right. You deserve to have your life back.”
     
    Why couldn’t she see that I had no life worth living without her? “Stay,” I pleaded. “And let me worry about my life.”
     
    “If I don’t go back to work soon, I’ll lose my job. I don't have a car so I need to be near work. Mrs. Ashton's is only a few blocks from my job and she's agreed to watch the baby until I can arrange daycare.”
     
    “You're not going back there.”
     
    “I have to.
     
    “No you don't. I’ll take care of both of you.” I walked across the room and took her hand in mine. “Tanya, don’t make me beg.”
     
    She pulled her hand away. “What will your woman think about that?”
     
    “I don't have a woman.”
     
    “You slept with her!”
     
    Was it my